ENVY

Stranger facing the roads, each of which will but lead you further Deeper into the desert till you collapse and it's over.
Blindfolded or not, for even if you could see;
Any choice would lead but into the desert. I know, I know, Your bleached bones will be buried in the sands;
For all eternity. Blown apart by your own mines and mantraps,
No one will even hear your final scream - Gambler who staked your soul And now repeats Faust's despair; Not even agents from Hell will brave Your unresting place; Blown apart by winds, You- called unpredictable, Fooling yourself and failing, for you knew the end. Which was merely This- To be unknown, to leave no footprints, no name.
Remain so uncorporeal, No reincarnation as even a frightened ghost?
You will never know how much I, Forewarned, forearmed, envied you.
Not to be" your choiceless choice, Your arrival unnoticed,
Departure unmarked.
Can you imagine the torture of a mirage at every stopover?
Can you conceive how subatomic one is
When in thought marching through desert sands
The whirlpools appear just for me,
Forcing the sands themselves to retreat?
The sandstorms if it is as you claim are not,
Cannot be as Unexpected
As my personal Tsunami tide which abides with malice its time
And draws just me in; making each mirage cruelly real
My bones will be flung back, collected ; Itemized in glass cases
Eternal proof that I was, am and will be.
And enough will be left of a wraith spirit of mine to watch
The museum field trips which cannibalize my recreated shape
And I did not even play Lear's fool;
Nor toss the dice for an unholy thrill.
I could hate you for your annihilation, from dust to dust.
But I stop at envy; for with your already favoured scales,
My hatred is far too precious a gift for you.